Falls

Yesterday she fell into the dining room radiator. I didn't even see it happen although I was standing right next to her. She was reaching for a pizza box in order to throw it away. Her body must have been at an odd angle, and balance was lost. Her ribs hit the radiator. It knocked the wind out of her. Today, her Physical Therapist talked with her about HOW TO GET UP FROM A FALL. This is what she is learning... because she Will fall. And she will probably fall badly when I am not here.

It is probably my greatest fear. Her falling when I am not here and bleeding to death from a head injury. Buspar isn't really enough to take this fear. I simply remove it from my head as best I can. I'm not a praying girl - but I sometimes wish I was. If I believed that some one could keep her from falling when I am not here, it would be a great relief. I play the odds. Knowing that if I had a full time caregiver at this point, she would simply feel it unnecessary, and get rid of them. She is in denial - or is it optimism? She is waiting for someone to tell her that they were wrong. That she doesn't really have this disease. That she's just clumsy.

My mother has PSP. She's been living with me for 6 weeks now. Her current condition belies the things to come. She still walks and talks and eats. I have made modifications that currently seem unnecessary. We have a chair lift for the stairs; ramps for the back yard; a bathroom on the first floor.
She's so proud that the therapists tell her how much more she can do than others they have worked with. She thinks she will not get the full-blown brunt of it. I can't imagine it. There is no telling how the disease will get her.